Why your new members ghost you

A founder message me this week:

"People are joining my paid community but then... nothing. They don't introduce themselves. They don't post. One guy keeps DMing me on Instagram instead of using the actual community space."

Ah yes. The dreaded ghost member phenomenon. 👻 

The Activation Workflow Your Community Is Missing

Here's what most community builders get wrong: they think onboarding is about information.

Welcome email ✅

Community guidelines ✅

Intro thread ✅

And then... nothing. Members sign up, get the tour, and vanish into the void.

Because you're not actually onboarding them. You're just giving them access.

Real onboarding is a forced workflow that makes members get real value before you unlock the rest of the community. Not a polite suggestion. Not a skippable tutorial. A workflow that says: complete this, or you literally cannot see anything else.

Sounds harsh? I’ve been running a global startup program with 600 founders on Circle.so. We experimented with locking the entire community until they finish onboarding. The onboarding pass rate? 75%.

And our Monthly Active Users metric right before the program ended? 93%

Compare that to the "gentle nudge" approach: members join, glance around, get overwhelmed, and are never to be heard from again. You end up manually chasing inactive members, DMing stragglers, wondering why your paid community feels like a graveyard.

The workflow solves this in three moves:

1. Force early activation

The sooner members get value, the better their engagement. Lock access until they've set their profile, introduced themselves, and completed one meaningful action. No exceptions.

2. Design for device

Are you onboarding via mobile or desktop? Mobile users need the app downloaded first. Desktop users land in browser. Most communities pretend everyone accesses the same way. They don't. Build two paths.

3. Automate the unlock

When they finish? Automatic access tag, welcome message, full community reveal. No manual approvals. No bottlenecks. Workflows do the work.

My client invested in an intentional, considered onboarding journey. Members who completed onboarding started organising their own meetups in the community within a week. The ones who skipped it? Still lurking silently in the member list three months later.

The activation workflow isn't about being strict. It's about designing momentum into your community from day one. 👆️ 

I've seen this play out dozens of times: founders who implement forced onboarding worry they'll lose members. What actually happens? Completion rates skyrocket, engagement triples, and the members who do join are the right ones.

The members who bail at a 10-minute onboarding? They were never going to engage anyway. You're not losing members—you're filtering for quality.

🤙 If you're running a paid community, reply and tell me: what's your current member activation rate? Let's benchmark where you're starting from.

Worth Your Time This Week

🎨 Free Graphic Design Software? Yes, Actually. Canva just bought Affinity and made the whole suite free for all users. No catch, no freemium nonsense. If you've been settling for clunky design tools, this is your chance to level up without spending a cent. Grab it before they remember they're a business!

🤑 $25K for Your Side Project. Anything x Contra are throwing $25K at a hackathon. That's actual prize money for building something people want. If you've been side-projecting in secret, here's your excuse to ship it and get paid. Check it out.

🙈 The Blockers You Can't See. Mekayla just launched Visual Business Workflows and I tested it. Turns out I had three sales blockers I couldn't see because I was too close to my own process. If your sales pipeline feels like guesswork, this might be the outside view you need.

🤝 Founder Event That's Not Just Drinks. Liz is hosting Founder's Cafe next weekend and it's not another "networking drinks" situation. Actual skill-building workshops, prizes, and the kind of founder energy that makes you want to work on a Saturday. If you're tired of hollow events, this one delivers. Grab your spot.

💪 AI Learning Without the Tech-Bro Energy. Nik launched a community for anyone feeling behind on AI. (So... most of us, right?) No tech-bro posturing, no "just prompt better" condescension. Just patient, kind teaching that won't make you feel thick — join in here.

⏲️ 20 Minutes, Actual Tactics. Tasha's interviewing Darnell Brown about engagement and it's going to be 20 minutes of actual tactics, not theory. Darnell is magnetic, Tasha asks the questions you're thinking, and you'll leave with something you can use Monday morning. RSVP to watch here.

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Meet your Community Copilot:

I’m a neurospicy solo founder openly figuring out how to build a business while firmly rooting myself in community values.

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